Relationships

Many of us need guidance and help when it comes to love relationships. Some of the people who come to see Tami Yaari for counseling are people who are looking for love and can't find it, people who are in a relationship but are not sure "that's the one", people who are in a difficult relationship and don't know if they should give up or work together, people who find it difficult to get out of difficult relationship and need help, guidance and strength.

It is very important to understand in all of these situations what the truth is about each and every situation and act in accordance with that.

In some cases, one session is enough; in others a series of sessions is required for creating a process of gradual building, which is aimed at creating a healthy and supportive love relationship.

In life, many times, people waste a lot of energy without getting any results:

For instance, people who go out on many dates which nothing comes out of, because they are unaware of the fact that, for one reason or another, the field of a love relationship is blocked for them, either because of fears and resistance that are in the subconscious, or because they are committed to a past relationship which they didn't really finished and until that's resolved, no other love relationships will develop, and for many other reasons.

Tami diagnoses the issue with the patient and based on that diagnosis a continuation of the treatment is set.

At times, people who have been through a divorce and still can't get into a new relationship after some years, arrive at the center. In this situation, it may be that in spite of the formal divorce, the relationship is not yet over in the deeper levels. It may also be that the barriers are based more on the emotional trauma.
Many love relationships run into difficulties. A relationship that seemed like it was a good relationship with great love becomes a nightmare. In the couples counseling there will be information received about whether the subject of discussion is a mutual challenge that is aimed at learning, which will make the relationship stronger and will bring about mutual development, or a relationship that is over, or a relationship that was not mutual in its essence to begin with and will not generate ease.

Tami Yaari diagnoses the issue with the patient and based on that diagnosis a continuation of the treatment is set. One of the spouses often arrives first and the other spouse joins the session later. This is of course an ideal situation, in which both sides take responsibility and enter the process of self awareness and development.

Merav, an incredibly sweet and smart 31 year-old girl, who has a senior position in her job, has never been able to find a partner. This has become her "Achilles heal" which has accumulated an inferiority complex and a deep feeling of brokenness and loneliness. Merav thought: what's wrong with me? Even when a relationship was formed with someone, he would leave her after some time.

Years of seeing psychologists did no good as well. At the first session with Tami she wept deeply. What haven't I done? Why isn't this working for me? Why do people leave me? Is something wrong with me?

Tami diagnosed a number of reasons of different layers that prevent Merav from forming a relationship. Among the barriers there were some that had to do with events from other lifetimes, and there were also childhood traumas (including sexual traumas and the problematic relationship between merav's parents) that were repressed as if they were forgotten, but on the surface created resistance to a love relationship. Merav also had problems of low self esteem.

During the course of three month of treatment each and every barrier was treated. Merav testified to the fact that her self confidence and happiness grew tremendously. By the third month of treatment she was all of a sudden flooded with man courting her. She suddenly found her self in a different status: she was the one choosing the most suitable partner for her from all of the various options!

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Eran, a 28 year-old guy, shy and short, with good-boy eyes arrived by an advice of a friend and told Tami that he has a problem with girls and that he never had a real girlfriend. Tami's diagnosis was that the only problem was low self esteem especially in relation to maleness. She worked with Eran through conversation while strengthening different systems in the subconscious.

The next time Eran showed up at the clinic was six month later: "I came to tell you that I'm getting married next week". Two weeks after I came to see you I met my future wife. The truth is, I met her before that, but before, it just didn't happen…

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Nurit, 34 years old, was married before for 6 year and she has two lovely daughters. Actually, she married while she was pregnant, and didn't dare tell her husband. She was so afraid of his reactions, already in the beginning of the marriage. Because of her low self esteem, she couldn't even imagine to dare to aspire for more than a relationship that would somehow help her take care of her kids financially. She suffered through all her years of marriage. The atmosphere at home was of cautiousness and violence. As time passed, the longing for more than the survival state she was in, began ripening within her. She began to dare to think of happiness and self development. This is how she arrived at couple's counseling with Tami Yaari. After a few months of a process where she learned to get to know herself, to respect herself and to trust herself, she dared tell her husband that their relationship isn't right for her. The husband responded with threats and violence. Nurit was already strong enough not to retreat and not to panic. She was so clear to herself and had such a yearning for the freedom to be what she really wants to be. One day, she came to the clinic and informed with a happy face: I deserve congratulations! I got a divorce! She never looked so radiant! Six months later
She met her love. It was immediately clear that this was a different love. A mutual love, based on mutual respect, happiness and a partnership of the processes of life.

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Dany, a 36 year-old brilliant and devoted adventurer, was sent to Tami by a friend. He told her that he has been in a relationship with someone for two years. Recently, he left her, but after two months he was missing her so much that he couldn't take it and got back with her. She demands that he decides if he's ready, this time, and if he is, then they'll get married. In her view, he was always " the one". Is it true? He asked and the fear was seen in his eyes. Dany has been in relationships with women all his life, it always survived for as long as it did…

Tami immediately diagnosed that his girlfriend is right. Yes, they were meant to get married, but there is no point in him getting married as someone who was forced to. Dany was scared for his freedom. In his internal perception wedding was just like a prison. Of course that because of this perception, he was on the edge of losing the woman he loved and the opportunity to become a family man. Even when Dany held on to a relationship, it involved emotional and sexual blockages that were caused by his fears. Dany was very scared of intimacy.

Once there is a clear diagnosis it is possible to act in a direction that will generate happiness. In Dany's case, he had already found his spouse, now he just needs to take care of the internal fear.

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Eran, a business man, married plus two, arrived at the clinic, like many others, to get couple's counseling, even though he never consulted with anybody. Usually, he says, he knows for sure what the right thing to do is. He is considering the possibility of getting out of the relationship. In his words, the relationship stopped satisfying him, gaps were made between him and his wife and he isn't sure anymore if it's what it's supposed to be. Tami took a look on the situation and said that in this case he unmistakably should not leave the relationship, and that he and his wife need to work on their relationship. The reason: he is already in the love relationship he was meant to be in. This is a completely right love relationship for him, but a wrong management of the relationship and the constant need of Eran for new things and for running towards exciting goals make the relationship seem, at the moment, (in Eran's eyes) boring. ending a right love relationship will lead to a decrease in all levels of energy in his life, it won't open up a door for a different love relationship, because the move is made out of running away from the right work.

Now, after Eran has heard the truth, he can invest his energy in the existing relationship, in order to find himself in a happy relationship again.
Not in every case where the relationship becomes difficult it is right to hurry to get a divorce. Sometimes it's right and sometimes it's not. There are conflicts in which the clarity that arises from a session with Tami Yaari, can open up the door to a process of blossoming, while an incorrect choice, that isn't based on the inner truth, will lead to a road that can be very destructive to everyone involved. Couple's counseling must be based on openness, accuracy and clarity in relation to each and every couple. Very often, one spouse arrives followed by the arrival of the other. Once every side goes through his/her personal patterns, the love relationship becomes a shared journey of development based on mutual understanding and support.

What Tami Yaari provides by couple's counseling is not only a mirror of truth concerning the situation, but also more tools to handle the situation, in order to create the possibility for a new and happy future.